Letting go You is Hard

I keep holding on.when i need to let go

1 Corinthians 7:15

(But if the husband or wife who isn't a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)

Hold on:to maintain possession of or adherence to.

Pour out my soul....15 years for us.. Ive loved you 12 years.I waited 7 years for you to take me back. I dont think ive ever loved someone as much as i loved you. Mistakes ive made and all i know i loved you. I know now my love for you was more for your love for me because like you say "you wasnt checking for me but i was checking for you".I want so bad to be a family. I want so bad to buy a house with you to build with you travel with you grow old with you. Lay in your chest everynight. To have kids with you. To wake up because your in the bath room at 3 am... just using your phone because your not ready to get up. To tell you all my secrets or having funny inside jokes. Hanging with moon and sumo. I love you and you will never know how much i do. Its just hard to say goodbye because this time its really goodbye.

Broken Home

Broken Home

Broken Home A family in which the parents are divorced or separated. 'he comes from a broken home'

Malachi 2:16“For I hate divorce!”[a] says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,[b]” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

I came from a broken home! My parents where never married they had sex and had a baby. Like many people in todays society. Yet in the end it left me to suffer because I had to live in a broken home. In my mind I always wondered as I watched tv why couldnt i have a non broken home.  Yet I figured my life would end up like maury a single mother with a baby daddy running around screaming thats not my baby. Broken home.  Many young men and woman live in broken homes searching for the love of their mother who is not there or father who is not there or like me both parents because i lived with my grandmother. Like it or not my home was broken. I have had step parents but that doesnt always make it easier and doesnt always make a broken home mended.  My siblings we all have different parents in one way or another. Broken home. Im married now because I want a real family but the fear that oneday my husband will walk away and it would break the home of my future children haunts me. I cling on to dear life so bad to my marriage so my home wont break but it seems like even doing that causes it to drift. Broken home. I just want a family A home that isnt torn apart. Its my greatest desire my greatest goal one i believe Ill never achieve because you cant make people love you they can walk away when ever they like leaving you to mend the pieces of your life. leaving your home broken!

I Don't Choose Divorce

Divorce legally dissolve one's marriage with (someone).

1 Cornithians 7:15 But if the unbelieving spouse depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, for God hath called us to peace.

For me I dont want a broken family. so i dont choose divorce.I dont like to say that I have lost. Especially with someone who I had fought for for years. My husband and I have had bad days. Like I dont have to hide the truth. I dont blame everything on him. 14 years is a long time and we have had some interesting moments. when I choose to marry my husband its because I trusted he would be a great choice to make a family with. Someone to protect me to help guid me to be a good support system and be the caring man in which i have known him to be over the years. So I wanted him to have a car, and for us to have a nice place to live so that we could create a beautiful family. Its my dream my only dream that true to my heart. But it seems like my dream wont come true before we can even do that  divorce is knocking at my doors saying we are ready to take your dreams. Our wedding was canceled before we even became married and my family i dreamed of broke i was devastated. This is my greatest dream. I have talked about it on youtube for 6 years. I dont want to leave my husband. I honestly want to be able to enjoy our relationship our life to be able to trust him again.I worry about my husband leaving me. Its scary. I feel helpless. Its like trying to grab sand its slipping through my fingers. We have tried to fix it on our own we have tried consoling. It always seems like we arent working on our marriage at the same time?Amos 3:3Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? My dream since I was 5 years old was to have a husband who is happy with me and loves me, a nice house, and beautiful kids. I want a happy home. I pray i beg i plead and things get worst by the day. I dont choose divorce or a broken home but I have one and i pray God fixes it.

Being A Wife Is a Full Time Job!!

Being a Wife Is a Full Time Job! 

full-time
occupying or using the whole of someone's available working time

Proverbs 31:10-17

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.....

The Proverbs 31 wife depicts what a wife should look like. No it doesnt just end at vs 17 so I encourage you to keep reading proverbs 31. Yet she is an all around woman. Her families feed, she cleans, her husband trust her, she a hard worker,She is what God orignially created a woman to be A HELPER!! She makes sure she is helping her family husband kids or husband and no kids but she is doing what ever she must do to help run a smooth house hold. No I am no wife but I have been preparing myself to be a wife its like Going to college to prepare to be a social worker. I am trying to educate myself so that when that day comes I am prepared to be a wife! So I can love my husband love my kids and be qualified for this full time Job!

You got the job

Proverbs 18:22

22 He who finds a wife finds a goodthing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.

In order to get any job you have to be hired. Then once your hired you can start the job. A man who finds a wife was looking for a wife. Then once he finds a wife he makes her his wife and they get married and beging to start a life together

The first day of your new job

Genesis 2:21-24And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man24 Therefore shall a man leave his father andhis mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

In any job there is always a first day. If you are becoming a wife for the first time its going to be a new experience you have never been a wife before. You may have been in relationships or played house. Yet this would be the real deal you now have his last name and the title is yours. Now that your hired there's work to do. You must start getting into the flow. Learning your job and duties as a wife to help your partner. Eve was made to help adam so you must help your spouse.  Take your time your not going to get it all in the first day. Nor will get it all right but congrats on getting the job of being his rib.

Why you fighting your partner

Matthew 12:25 But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

part·ner

: someone's husband or wife

: one of two or more people, businesses, etc., that work together or do business together

Its crazy how many relationship end up broken because two people who are suppose to work together fight each other and break up their own kingdom.  A kingdom is only built if you work together two are better then one because they have a better reward for their labor Ecclesiastes 4:9 says so why are you fighting your partner your suppose to be building together creating a kingdom

Balance of one another

Proverbs 27:17

17 As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

Its amazing what people can do when they work together. When they build each other up and encourage each other. Iron sharpens iron. People need each other not to use one another but give and take. If someone is just taking taking taking and only one person is giving itsnot going to work. Vice versa. You need to work together as a team.